she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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