i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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