Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we made out on top of his cat.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
