Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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