He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
did i just pee glitter
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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