Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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