note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
