That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
