You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
