I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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