I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
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