No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You were trust falling into bushes
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
