He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
