Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
