so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
