You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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