You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
