you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
