I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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