***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
