i just google imaged poop.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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