Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
