Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize