To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Semen is not good for contacts.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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