how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
