I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
