I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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