we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
