I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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