btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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