handjob tips. give me some.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
