what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize