I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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