dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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