just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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