the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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