she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize