Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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