S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Im part way to drunk.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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