So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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