I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize