if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
