I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
