you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
