She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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