I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
