therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
