I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
