You're my little dorito
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
