What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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