ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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