I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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