At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
