uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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