Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
