God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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