we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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