after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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