Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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