yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
