She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
