I am puke
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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